QUIET CONFIDENCE- An Underrated Virtue

One of the most devalued human traits of all times, emphatically ignored and most definitely required for a wee bit of  semblance & wisdom around us.

Nope, it is not the opposite of over confidence or even confidence for that matter. Neither does it mean you have to be quiet about your confidence😉This in no way means acting dumb and poker faced in conversations. In fact the fresh graduates (in any field) with neatly combed hair adorning graduation hats, doused and drowned in extra bottles of confidence, who actually practise the nuances and gesticulations of displaying overt levels of confidence, in front of the mirrors, please refrain from reading this post as this phrase may not even feature in your dictionary.

It is perhaps undervalued because it is a rarity. It just doesn’t confirm to the society we live in!! Hence a value that is so unique and top notch and that needed to be upheld across generations got pushed outta the window!! You will rarely see this quality in  a world as today’s  where everyone is in an eager & possessed rush to prove – how smart, how rich, how clever, how successful they are. It’s not their fault either as  we do live in times where people mistakenly feel, if you are not showing what you got baby, then perhaps you don’t have it. Hence the incongruity !

The thing is there is a lot of discord around the word confidence, specially in times when INSECURITY has been declared one of the biggest mental illness of the 21st century. So where does one even begin to understand and evaluate confidence, let alone quiet confidence. Confidence (or lack of it) is usually quite fluid and can change daily. It may come from reasons ranging from our backgrounds, measuring up to peers, a bad hair day, getting grade  C on an important test, not speaking up when we should.,to our entire career graph. Which means taking out any one of these means taking away a bit of your confidence. Then there are people who are very good at faking it to. An unfavourable affair with failure can also be a predominant impediment to having healthy self-opinions.

Damn, I think I have taken upon myself a huge task of explaining quiet confidence amidst the conflicting  environment. Take for instance American culture-they for whatever reason prefer the loud toxic confident ones. You see their boardrooms, courtrooms, meeting rooms?- You are a wuss if you don’t talk loud. Now how does one tackle that. This striking and unique, trait maybe redundant in todays time and maybe deemed unfit.

DO YOU GUYS SEE, QUIET CONFIDENCE FITTING ANYWHERE?

That you are content and assured in yourself and don’t seek validation outside is obviously the permissible definition of this word. To be absolutely sure of yourself worth is another.  That you don’t get affected by the constant changes in life is another. Your confidence (meant only for you) that helps you grow and smile remains intact. And boy it sure does take a hell lot to retain this quality as people around you will try to shake it off you all the time.

To start with obviously –  the single distinguishable quality of a person who carries quiet confidence is he will be an excellent listener. Practising the Japanese way of SHOSHIN,(Beginner’s Mind) is truly divine, which means you are aware that you are not an infallible genius and you enter a conversation with the intent of learning something new from someone.

You have already heard the hackneyed quote.’ Arguments don’t change minds but only hurt” well these people follow this quote to the T. They are sensible, and will never try to hijack conversations or try and put forth their opinions at the smallest pretext.

These people don’t worry about what others think of them.

They live with imperfections and hence are content at core.

They are not scared of asking dumb questions.

Having intellectual humility is another striking sign. But it takes a lot. It also means people underestimating you for what  you are, almost all the time. Are you comfortable living with that? From teachers to college professors, to friends, bosses, family you may get a disdainful and disappointed look time and again.

Essentially :-

Confidence is looking at all external factors, which eventually will fade.

Quiet confidence is the total opposite wherein you look at your ‘self’ (Yes, inner)

The ‘self ‘is the commanding authority. Recognise that

It exists within you, not on social media or around you.

It is all alone and underdeveloped.

It is you alone who can develop it and it will take time

If you develop and empower yourself, chances are that it will stay a life time with you and it will render meaningless things like: Comparisons/ Fake social circle & people/Achieving material wealth/ Talking about achievements/success.

Quiet Confidence does not mean that you are the best at everything & hence you need to be aglow with it all the time – it simply means you accept what you are and are at peace with that. After all, isn’t that what we are all hankering after? Haven’t I just shelled out the secret ingredient for a lifetime of felicity. Think of the precious time that gets wasted in proving and being confident (which is nothing but a way to show whatever it is you have to show to people, rather than constantly reinventing and growing yourself.) You may be in a room full of intellectuals or successful and wealthy people but if you have that quiet confidence, you will shine in a way unknown to you.

You will not need the spotlight, as you are the spotlight. Striking a balance between a rare sublime quality in an incompatible environment is something you will need to figure out 🙂

And oh yes, please do watch Mr, Nawal Ravikanth on you tube for 10mins and you will know exactly what I am talking about:) On a silent confident note: goodbye and see you until my next.